Marco
When I first came to the United States from Italy, I was 16 years old, and I was an exchange student. My sister did an exchange the year before me. She learned English, and I didn't know any English at the time, so I figured it was something I wanted to do also.
I picked the United States as the country I wanted to go to, but then it was a random placement as far as the city goes. I stayed with a family for a year in Wayzata, Minnesota. I liked Minnesota, but I would have rather gone somewhere warmer. Once you form a friend group and get to know a bunch of people, though, you start growing some roots in that specific place. When the year was over, I went back to Italy to finish high school.
A day in Italy is different in the sense that life is a little bit more laid back than it is over here. Back then, I would just get up, go to school, get out of school, and do homework. It's pretty similar to the way it is here. I lived with my mom, my dad, and my sister.
My parents had a house on the beach that had been in the family for a couple of generations. We used to spend the summers over there. It was close enough to my parent’s house that they could still go to work from there. We got to go to the beach every day, and that was pretty cool. My mom has been to the States a couple of times, and she's scared of the lake because back home the waters are so clear that you can see the bottom. In the lake, you can't, so every time we've been out to the lake she doesn't want to go in.
The drinking age is 16 in Italy, so people do stuff there that people do in college in the US way earlier. We did all those things in high school and by the time I got to college, I was kind of over it already. Other activities, like sports, are pretty much the same, but we don’t have American football. Soccer is pretty big back home, but I was pretty bad at it. I was part of the team, but I never played. I played soccer throughout the summer when I was here for my exchange year. Then I ended up doing track and rugby afterward, which were new to me.
Our school schedule was different because we went to school from Monday through Saturday, but school was done at 1:30, so we had more time in the afternoon for activities and other things. I liked having the extra day for the weekend during my exchange year, and I liked that I got to pick my classes.
In Italy, after middle school, you get to pick the high school you go to instead of going to the high school in your area. Kids go to high schools that specialize in certain areas, like if you want to go to college, learn different languages, or learn a trade. Everybody at your school has the same type of classes. I like the system in the US because people could find their interests as they went. In middle school, you're very young, and it's hard making that decision for yourself.
It was after my exchange year that I decided I wanted to go back for college. I met a girl while I was here, and we kept dating throughout my move back to Italy from my exchange year, and then she convinced me to come back.
The immigration process was a headache. When I came back for college, I was able to get a visa as a student. The student visa is good for four years, and it can get extended, but after you graduate, you can apply for what's called OPT (Optional Practical Training). You're working, but it's still considered a learning experience. That lasts a year, and then you can renew it for a second year. Typically, after you do that, if the company wants to keep you around, they'll try to sponsor you to get a green card, but there is a really high applicant count for the green card every year, and there are only so many spots. The chances of somebody getting it on the first or second try are pretty slim.
Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to get it. I ended up getting married, and it still took about two years to get my green card after that. I was able to remain here because if you get married, you are allowed another temporary permit until they get you through the process. We got married, and I was able to stay. The green card is only good for two or three years, and then after that, you have to reapply for it to make sure that the marriage is legit. We had to do all of that again, and then they finally sent me the official permanent green card just a couple of years ago.
It is pretty different here food-wise. It takes a little getting used to because the diets are completely different. The stereotypes of Italian food are pretty accurate. There's a lot of pasta in the diet, a lot of tomatoes, fresh fruit, and vegetables. You have to try really hard to eat fresh stuff here. There's also not as much fried food in Italy, so right away my stomach was not very happy. I'm pretty spoiled because my wife does most of the cooking. She cooks mostly traditional American foods, but we have some meals that are a bit of a mixture.
When I came for college, I didn't know anybody - just my girlfriend. I traveled by myself. I spoke very little English when I came. The first three months were really rough. I pretty much couldn't understand anything. I didn't speak any Italian with anybody because there wasn't anyone to speak it with. Being able to communicate was the toughest thing, especially at the beginning, because you don't want people to think you're stupid, so you act like you understand when you don't. It just backfires because people thought you understood. I was forced to learn English, and it worked out pretty well.
I was surprised by the small differences between the two cultures. You think that the cultures can't be that different, but when you live in it, there are so many things that people do differently that you're not used to. Sometimes you start doing something that you've done your whole life and somebody looks at you weird or vice versa, and you wonder why it was weird.
My friends were a mix of US- and foreign-born people during my exchange year and in college. I had a pretty big friend group. There were a lot of us that were foreign. It's easy to get to know people because you start with orientation and on day one, you're introduced to all of those people. We had a lot of local friends, too, because we were all in the dorms. Some of my closest friends are from around here, and some others are from all over the world.
I went to Italy twice during college, and then I went back about two years ago with my wife. There's lots of lots of things that I miss, and when I go over there I remember how nice and quiet it is. There are some things that I don't miss, like certain behaviors from people, and then I remember why I like the States. There aren't many traditions I have kept here because all of the traditions revolved around family, and I don't have any Italian family over here.
People who were born in the United States don't quite understand how difficult the process to become an immigrant is, and take many opportunities for granted. I'm very thankful that I'm able to be here and appreciative of the opportunities that I wouldn't have had back home. I took those opportunities because I knew I wouldn't have had them otherwise. Some people here don't take the opportunities because there are so many.
I consider both countries home, but at this point in my life, the United States feels more like home than Italy. I've been here for just under half of my life, and it's the half that counts as far as getting to know a bunch of people and starting a career.
I started a company here, and I hope that my company grows enough that I can retire early, and then move everybody further south.
I picked the United States as the country I wanted to go to, but then it was a random placement as far as the city goes. I stayed with a family for a year in Wayzata, Minnesota. I liked Minnesota, but I would have rather gone somewhere warmer. Once you form a friend group and get to know a bunch of people, though, you start growing some roots in that specific place. When the year was over, I went back to Italy to finish high school.
A day in Italy is different in the sense that life is a little bit more laid back than it is over here. Back then, I would just get up, go to school, get out of school, and do homework. It's pretty similar to the way it is here. I lived with my mom, my dad, and my sister.
My parents had a house on the beach that had been in the family for a couple of generations. We used to spend the summers over there. It was close enough to my parent’s house that they could still go to work from there. We got to go to the beach every day, and that was pretty cool. My mom has been to the States a couple of times, and she's scared of the lake because back home the waters are so clear that you can see the bottom. In the lake, you can't, so every time we've been out to the lake she doesn't want to go in.
The drinking age is 16 in Italy, so people do stuff there that people do in college in the US way earlier. We did all those things in high school and by the time I got to college, I was kind of over it already. Other activities, like sports, are pretty much the same, but we don’t have American football. Soccer is pretty big back home, but I was pretty bad at it. I was part of the team, but I never played. I played soccer throughout the summer when I was here for my exchange year. Then I ended up doing track and rugby afterward, which were new to me.
Our school schedule was different because we went to school from Monday through Saturday, but school was done at 1:30, so we had more time in the afternoon for activities and other things. I liked having the extra day for the weekend during my exchange year, and I liked that I got to pick my classes.
In Italy, after middle school, you get to pick the high school you go to instead of going to the high school in your area. Kids go to high schools that specialize in certain areas, like if you want to go to college, learn different languages, or learn a trade. Everybody at your school has the same type of classes. I like the system in the US because people could find their interests as they went. In middle school, you're very young, and it's hard making that decision for yourself.
It was after my exchange year that I decided I wanted to go back for college. I met a girl while I was here, and we kept dating throughout my move back to Italy from my exchange year, and then she convinced me to come back.
The immigration process was a headache. When I came back for college, I was able to get a visa as a student. The student visa is good for four years, and it can get extended, but after you graduate, you can apply for what's called OPT (Optional Practical Training). You're working, but it's still considered a learning experience. That lasts a year, and then you can renew it for a second year. Typically, after you do that, if the company wants to keep you around, they'll try to sponsor you to get a green card, but there is a really high applicant count for the green card every year, and there are only so many spots. The chances of somebody getting it on the first or second try are pretty slim.
Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to get it. I ended up getting married, and it still took about two years to get my green card after that. I was able to remain here because if you get married, you are allowed another temporary permit until they get you through the process. We got married, and I was able to stay. The green card is only good for two or three years, and then after that, you have to reapply for it to make sure that the marriage is legit. We had to do all of that again, and then they finally sent me the official permanent green card just a couple of years ago.
It is pretty different here food-wise. It takes a little getting used to because the diets are completely different. The stereotypes of Italian food are pretty accurate. There's a lot of pasta in the diet, a lot of tomatoes, fresh fruit, and vegetables. You have to try really hard to eat fresh stuff here. There's also not as much fried food in Italy, so right away my stomach was not very happy. I'm pretty spoiled because my wife does most of the cooking. She cooks mostly traditional American foods, but we have some meals that are a bit of a mixture.
When I came for college, I didn't know anybody - just my girlfriend. I traveled by myself. I spoke very little English when I came. The first three months were really rough. I pretty much couldn't understand anything. I didn't speak any Italian with anybody because there wasn't anyone to speak it with. Being able to communicate was the toughest thing, especially at the beginning, because you don't want people to think you're stupid, so you act like you understand when you don't. It just backfires because people thought you understood. I was forced to learn English, and it worked out pretty well.
I was surprised by the small differences between the two cultures. You think that the cultures can't be that different, but when you live in it, there are so many things that people do differently that you're not used to. Sometimes you start doing something that you've done your whole life and somebody looks at you weird or vice versa, and you wonder why it was weird.
My friends were a mix of US- and foreign-born people during my exchange year and in college. I had a pretty big friend group. There were a lot of us that were foreign. It's easy to get to know people because you start with orientation and on day one, you're introduced to all of those people. We had a lot of local friends, too, because we were all in the dorms. Some of my closest friends are from around here, and some others are from all over the world.
I went to Italy twice during college, and then I went back about two years ago with my wife. There's lots of lots of things that I miss, and when I go over there I remember how nice and quiet it is. There are some things that I don't miss, like certain behaviors from people, and then I remember why I like the States. There aren't many traditions I have kept here because all of the traditions revolved around family, and I don't have any Italian family over here.
People who were born in the United States don't quite understand how difficult the process to become an immigrant is, and take many opportunities for granted. I'm very thankful that I'm able to be here and appreciative of the opportunities that I wouldn't have had back home. I took those opportunities because I knew I wouldn't have had them otherwise. Some people here don't take the opportunities because there are so many.
I consider both countries home, but at this point in my life, the United States feels more like home than Italy. I've been here for just under half of my life, and it's the half that counts as far as getting to know a bunch of people and starting a career.
I started a company here, and I hope that my company grows enough that I can retire early, and then move everybody further south.